Curved World

There used to be a Fall song that started with Mark E. Smith declaiming through some kind of megaphone: All those who entitle themselves, or whose main entitle is themselves, shall feel the wrath of my bombast! before the band lurched into a high-energy, thrash-chord-driven rant. I have to be more diplomatic.

There have been a few scare stories about how the fines for various (unenforced) traffic offences in Dubai were going to be doubled, or even converted to short jail sentences – but nothing has happened. It used to be true that you would only see a traffic cop out if there was an accident – and it’s still true. Perhaps the police sit in their offices believing that if they bark loudly enough, people will be scared they’re going to bite this time, even though they never have in the past. Or perhaps they’re short of manpower.

Either way, there is still the same approximate proportion of decent (if slightly fast) drivers to lousy and irresponsible ones – let’s say nine to one. And the nine still get from the one the same combination of racetrack maneouvres, dangerous swerving, high-speed lane indiscipline, serial queue-jumping (though that is also fed by those who let them get away with it), overtaking on the hard shoulder, aggressive tailgating and other selfish, discourteous and potentially lethal road behaviours. Nothing has changed.

A motorcycle cop was killed yesterday on Sheikh Zayed Road by a woman who swerved out of lane and forced his bike into a concrete barrier. Now they’ve lost one of their own, maybe they will finally do something?

The papers say that there is to be a crackdown on dangerous driving, with fines and cars impounded for running red lights, weaving in and out of traffic at speed, and driving on the shoulder. The story seems to come round about once a year, and of course it’s welcome if true, though in the past nothing has actually happened.

For me the worst thing about the driving culture is none of those things (though the knowledge that someone may attack you on the shoulder does cause additional stress to the courteous, disciplined driver), but some people’s inability to keep distance. I just don’t think many people understand the dangers of driving so close behind another car; and then there is a minority who think they have the right to do so because everyone else should get out of the way for them.

Speaking of these people, I also have to wonder whether, if there is a crackdown, it will be enforced on those in the expensive, aggressive cars who are often the worst offenders…